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The Pig's Resume

NAME:
Pig, hog, also listed as suines/swine gilt, sow, boar and shoot. Family Suidae, Mammals

FROM:
West Asia, the caves and hills of Europe.

CAN BE REACHED:
On farms, in scientific laboratories and in some homes being used as pets.

AGE:
On the planet for a little over 4,000 years.

WEIGHT:
100 to 500 pounds adult weigh/ready for slaughter.

HEIGHT:
6" to 5' tall, up to 6' in length.

RACE/COLOR:
White, black or brown outer skin, pale pink flesh, turns gray after death, covered with brown or black thorny bristles1" to 6" long. Amount of hair varies with climate.

LANGUAGE:
Oinks, squeaks, snorts, screeches and growls.

PHYSICAL:
Short legs, cloven hooves, cartilaginous snout (nose) smal beady eyes, pointed floopy ears, sharp pointed teeth. Pock marked acne skin.

CONDITION:
snout (nose) small beady eyes, pointed floppy ears, sharp pointed teeth. pock marked acne skin.

AVAILABILITY:
In supermarkets, bars, school cafeterias, hospitals, test food chains, restaurants and private home kitchens.

HISTORY:
Known to contain the Trichina (pork worm) throughout its entire body which is transferred to humans through the eating of its flesh.

EXPERIENCE:
Every part of its body is either eaten or used to make medications, cosmetics, toiletries and personal household items.

ALLERGIES:
NONE. Able to eat anything rotten garbage, human refuse; can swallow lye or bitten by a poisonous snake and will not die.

CERTIFICATIONS:
Approved for human use gumption by the United State Department of Agriculture and the Drug Administration.

HANDICAPS:
Has a tube like opening in its forelegs (similar to a sewer line) which oozes. Pus is a yellowish sticky formed in infected tissue. It consists of cellular debris which make. Flesh sticky, greasy and slimy, especially after cooking.

SOCIAL IMPURITY NUMBER:
There are some 87 breed, in existence.

AVOCATIONAL INTERESTS:
Enjoys eating and rooting the ground looking for foodstuffs, loves to Swallow in mud (water or own urine) eating anything within reach nailed down.

CRIMINAL RECORD:
Previously charged with causing and contributing to high blood heart disease, stiff and sore muscles, obesity and Trichinosis (pork worm poisoning). Found Guilty.

FUTURE ASPIRATIONS:
Desires to be eaten and admired Homo-sapien on earth.

MOST RECENTACCOMPLISHMENT:
Has managed to convince the public ignore the existence of the parasite Trichinae worm in it flesh, disregard debilitating symptoms humans from eating it, and accept its presence as a natural part of the American diet.

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